These Friday nights we hold on to so dearly, they are limited.
These football games and these bonfires and these Midnight Denny's runs and these sand volleyball games and these coming home late and getting yelled at by mom and dad are limited. Nothing lasts forever, and regardless of how tight we are holding on to our adolescents and glory years, they are going quick, and we have to let go.
I honestly can't believe how fast it all went by. It seems like just yesterday I was on a playground swing set as a fifth grader and now I'm a junior in high school with a whole life ahead of me. It's crazy, it seriously is. One more year and I'm on my own. It's actually kind of nerve wrecking.
The truth is, from a young age, all we want to do is grow up. We're so stoked to hit the road and be on our own. When you're young you look at all of the older kids and you just can't wait to be old enough to be able to do what the big kids do. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the future, we forget what is so wonderful about the present.
I look at my baby sister and I just envy her. She's nine years old and she's beautiful. She wears a polka dot backpack and pig tails. She steals my makeup and has puppy posters and a bright pink bedroom. She tells me she wants to be the next Taylor Swift and I always catch her alone in front of the mirror dancing and singing her little heart out. She is so innocent and young, and all she wants to do is be like me. She tells me all the time that when she's my age she's going to have a group of friends just like GWAF and she's going to call herself "Rshawty" And she'll have tons of boyfriends and be the most popular girl in the school. But I just want to sit her down and tell her to value how young she is. I just want to tell her to keep playing with brats dolls and keep wearing hair bows in her hair and stop trying to be so much like me and more like her. She has so much to experience and she has so much time to become who she wants to be, and I don't want to lose my baby sister. Because to me, that's what she will always be, my baby sister.
I'm not a little kid anymore. I don't wear a polka dot backpack or pigtails. I don't spend every Friday night playing barbies and polly pockets like I used to. I don't go through the day catching lady bugs and running around the backyard like I used to. I know how to ride a bike and I know how to tie my shoes. I pick out my own clothes and I'm interested in spending time with boys other then my dad. I'm not a princess of a castle anymore, you know? I'm growing up everyday and it's unavoidable and it's scary but its a way of life.
High school is going to be over soon. I'm not going to see these people I see everyday probably ever again. There will be no more football games and there will be no more sand volleyball or sleepovers or Homecomings or swig runs after school or coming home to my family every night and hopping in a bed my mom made for me. This is all coming to an end soon enough and that's something we all have to accept.
Honestly, I'm scared. I'm scared for the class of 2013 to graduate because there are so many amazing people that I love and adore who will be leaving on missions or to college. And I'm not ready to be without some of them. I'm just not ready.
I know I have some time to worry about this considering it's barely Second quarter, but I can't get over it lately.
Growing up is tough. People change and everyone grows in different ways. High school seriously changes everyone. In both good ways and bad. But now is a time where we are all figuring our lives out. The small things happen to be the big things and we all strive to be accepted and liked and to wear the right clothes and listen to the right music and hang out with the right crowd. But we can't get caught up in the fact that maybe the person you're used to isn't that way anymore. The truth is.. We have to forgive each other for growing up.
There will come a time where we look back and all we will want is high school. We are going to hate how fast it went by and we are going to miss going out every night with the best people we ever known. And if you are currently a friend of mine or in my life at all, Just know you are some of the best people I have ever known. And I love you to bits and pieces and I know I will look back and smile when I remember my teenage years because you were in them. Life is so hard and so is love and so is growing up, but we have to believe in these things and we have to enjoy them regardless. And if you are in my life, you have helped me enjoy them. And I love all of my friends with every space in my heart.
This is getting so corny. I know, forgive me guys! I don't know why I'm so emotional today. I'm just one of those people who hates change. I'm always talking about how stoked I am to turn 18 and peace out of the good ol' 435, but this is my home. This place is where my heart is. It's where I learned my lessons and gained some scars and had the best times of my life.
I wish I could take all of my friends and run off to Neverland with Peter Pan but that's obviously not the case. But we are all in this Growing up thing together, and although I can't be sixteen forever, I know I will remember all the goodness it brought me for the rest of my life.
And a word of advice to all you kiddos out there, Take a good listen to "Never grow up" By the angel that is Taylor Swift. and just try and never grow up, it's not as glamorous as it's made out to be.
xoxoxoxo,
Bshawty.
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