So fill your heart with whats important and be done with all the rest.

Oh, this week has been straight from hell. Everyday just keeps getting worse and worse. Plus, it's only Wednesday. So that's awesome. HA not. FML. Right?

I have had like zero time to blog lately. I hardly had the motivation, nor the energy, to blog today.

But then I came across this on Tumblr.

And boy, did it get to me.


Life is hard. Sometimes life gives us too many lemons. And what are we supposed to do with these lemons? As the cliche' says, we are to make lemon aid.

But sometimes, that is hard, too. Because "lemons"? They suck. Sometimes when life gives you lemons all you want to do is cry and feel sorry for yourself and hide away in your bedroom with depressing music and be angry and upset at the world because things aren't going your way. Or is that just me...


Regardless. When we come into this world, God doesn't give us a book of instructions full of ways to be happy and how to keep our heart in one piece. No, he sure doesn't. When we come into the world, we are put through things because we are told they make us stronger in the end. We are told that one day it will all be worth it. We are told that everything happens for a reason and Heavenly Father has a plan for us all.

And we try and believe it.

There is so many things in the world that let us down. It could be people. It could be money. It could be jobs. It could be school. It could be overall, everything.

If you are one of those people who think that life is just too difficult and that the world never spins your way, It's okay. Because I am like that, too. I get so frustrated with myself. If we are being 100% honest here guys, I have a hard time believing I'm worth anything at all. I care way too much about what people think of me. I give up on myself WAY too easily and things rarely ever go my way. I feel like I'm lost in a world full of people who do not understand and it's frustrating. It really is so frustrating.

But the thing I need to realize, is that I have a purpose. We all have a purpose. My purpose may not be school. I'm probably not destined to be the next Albert Einstein and I'll probably never have a 4.0 GPA or on the high honor roll. My purpose is not sports. I hate running and I can't throw a football for the life of me. (LOL) My purpose is probably not to be a doctor or a lawyer or a multi millionaire. I have no idea what my purpose is. But I know I have one. And I know you have one too.

So what I'm getting at reader, let go of the anything that's weighing you down. Stressed out about school? Do your homework. Study. That's what my life is going to be about from here on out. Are you in a bad relationship? End it. Don't put yourself through anything that you don't deserve. Is someone messing with your heart? Move on. Just move on and forget about them. Don't waste anymore of your time.

Focus on the things that make you happy. Spend your time with the people who make your heart feel whole instead of in pieces. Why would you want to be with someone who makes you cry, while you could be with someone to make you laugh? Think about it, you guys. Get rid of anything in your life that is negative and fill it with positive and fun things.

People are going to leave you. You aren't going to ace every test. You might disappoint your parents time and time again. You will lose some friends. You will get hurt. You will be betrayed. Your heart will break.

But that's life. And like the quote says, fill your heart with what's important. Fill your heart with all the things you love. Fill it with friends. Fill it with good movies. Fill it with education. Fill it with family. Fill it with laughter. Fill it with compassion. Fill it with love for yourself. Fill it with peace and contentness and acceptance. Accept the things you can and change the things you cannot.

But be done with the things that won't change. Be done with the things that hurt you and that make you feel insignificant and small. You have a purpose, and that's for sure. You were put on this earth to find what that purpose is. So get out and find it.

Maybe we can find our purpose together, readers. Maybe we can learn to love ourselves and be happy with who we are together. Maybe we aren't so alone after all.


I hope you all are having much greater week then mine. And if you aren't, well take a look at your life and decide what is holding you back from being happy. And once you find it, forget about it. And then go to swig, get yourself a treat, and listen to your favorite song. Then go and do your homework so you won't be stressed out. Then hug your parents and text your BFF'S and let them know that you love them. Then, I want you to tell yourself that you are important and that you are extraordinary. Because it is the truth. It really is.


With all my love,
XOXOX,
Bshawty.

 

I'm always here for anyone who needs anything. So don't be afraid to send me a tweet if you are feeling down. I'm sure I would loooovvvve to have a good heart to heart with ya. ♥

A girl to call yours.

Hey fellas. It's been a while since we've had a chat. How's it goin? Good? Good.


I would like to have a talk with you today about girls. As a girl myself, I know plenty about the way us mysterious creatures work. And I'm going to help you out.


High school relationships. Most don't work out. Most of us think that they are absolutely ridiculous and a waste of time. But some of us get lucky and as we fall into our first real and true love, It begins to form in what could be for the rest of our lives. Or at least it feels that way, any how. (HELLO SHANTEL AND DESHON.)

Some of us are like, no way no how are we ever going to get sucked in into what an emotional disaster that is a high school relationship. They are messy and they are irrelevant and we think they are never going to make it. But then we come across someone who changes the entire way we see the game. They say the right things and they make us feel all sorts of things we didn't think was possible. They come along and they bring out the best in us. And before you know it, you are head over heels.

But sometimes we fall for a person who is wrong for us. We fall for a person who tells you want to hear because that's just their personality. We call these kids, flirts. They don't mean much by the sweet nothings they say, but to you, it means more then they will ever know.


This is why boys, I'm writing this to you. Because even the strongest and the most arrogant and the coolest of us all have a fragile heart. You can disagree all you want because girls are drama right? Because nothing good will ever come out of a high school relationship, right? Because high school is high school and we only have so much time and none of this will ever matter to us in the future right? Think what you must! But you would be surprised to know that maybe one of the greatest things in life is to love and be loved in return. We too often let our hearts pick the ones who look the best and who have the coolest reputation instead of whats inside of their soul. So I'm going to break it down for you, guys, so listen up. Here is the kind of ladies that you should be chasing. Here are the kind of girls who will be worth it in the long run. So stand by.

• Pick a girl who knows how to laugh. The kind of girl who can trip straight on her face and crack up at herself instead of feel like an idiot. If she's got a great sense of humor, you are set for life. A girl who gets your jokes instead of makes fun of them. A girl who laughs at everything and nothing at all. A girl who can keep you laughing is a girl who can keep you happy.

• Pick a girl who's a thinker. No one likes those ditsy girls who thinks playing dumb makes them adorable. Those girls suck. Pick a girl who can carry out a conversation with you and who tries her hardest to remember the little things about you that makes you so great. Girls who will think of the way you feel and try to understand it. Pick a girl who can thrill you by the ridiculous and crazy things that come out of her mouth. A thinker is def the way to go.

• Pick a girl who's confident. It gets exhausting when you are constantly trying to convince a person they're special. We all have our moments of insecurity and hey, that's okay. But confidence is sexy. Confidence shows that you are completely comfortable with who you are and no one is going to take that away from you. A confident person means that they are a happy person and they are willing to take risks and try new things regardless if they are making a fool out of themselves in the process. Pick a girl who's confident and who knows who she is.

• Pick a girl who's genuine. A girl who stays true to her loved ones and you know you can rely on. Don't let yourself fall for some sketchy chick who flirts up a storm with everybody in town and who you are constantly stressing over. If she's keeping it real with you, and if she's keeping it real with herself, you are in store for a solid relationship. Sketchy chicks can hit the road, see ya.

• Pick a girl who's fun. Someone who won't just want to stay at home and keep you from your friends. That gets real old, real quick. Find a girl who LOVES to be around people and who loves to try new things and who can make the best out of any situation. Pick a girl who you have a good time with and who you enjoy to be around.

• Pick a girl who tries. No one is perfect and that is the truest statement in the universe. But you know what, us girls try our best. We wake up in the morning and we put our makeup on and we curl our hair and we get dressed because we want people to like us. We do it for you. So don't expect us to wake up in the morning looking like Blake Lively. But know, that we try and a girl who tries is a girl who's worth it. All she wants is to be good enough for you and if that isn't flattering I don't know what else is.

• Pick a girl who loves you. A girl who will do just about anything to see you happy and who would do absolutely anything you ask because she cares that much. Just pick someone who cares in general. Don't waste your time chasing someone who has zero intention of you ever catching up with them. Let yourself be happy with a person who wants just that for you. Who will put you before herself and who will always be there to count on. Who will risk things for you and who will make you feel important. Who makes you feel good about yourself and who will never hurt you. Pick a girl who loves you.

• Pick a girl who makes you feel alive. A girl who sings in the shower as loud as she can even though she can't carry a tune. A girl who dances on tables and who you sometimes can't stand but you wouldn't change a thing about her. Because she is ridiculous. And she's goofy. And she's awkward. But she puts color in your little world of black and white. She kisses you in the middle of a sentence and she doesn't play any games except when necessary. She isn't easy to get but she's very easy to keep. She makes you work for the first kiss and she drives you insane. But pick a girl who makes you feel all sort of emotion. A girl you are afraid to lose because you know after she's long gone, you'll never find another person who can make you feel like she did. Pick a girl who calls you baby and who listens to happy music and who reads book and who writes in journals and who would rather spend hours in the passenger sent of your car rather than anywhere in the entire world. Pick a girl who shines from the inside. Who has a kind heart and who you hate to see cry and who can brighten your day with something simple as a hello.

Pick a girl who's worth it, handsome. Pick a girl who you deserve. Don't chase the ones who are too busy chasing someone else and who banish you into the forbidden place which is the Friend Zone. Pick a girl who is what you want and who makes you happy. And don't be too stubborn to give love a try. Because you never know what could happen.


I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving holiday! Let's gain some weight tomorrow, yeah? 


Much love readers, I appreciate you all more than you know. If you ever need a thing, Don't be afraid to hollar at your friend Bshawty.


Xoxox,
Bshawty.

My dear friend Shantel and her boyfriend Deshon. Basically the high school execption and the cutest dang couple in history of earth. ♥♥ 

Here's to you.

'There are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day, others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls, and sometimes, all you need is one.'


  The world is full of people. People who walk in and out of our lives for different reasons, to make impacts on different parts of our own stories. Some of these people make a difference from entering our lives. While others, make an even greater difference by leaving. The littlest things that they do can make the greatest impact. Like by a simple wave or holding our door open or just a "Hey, How are you?" text when you've had a bad day. Some people become our favorite people. People who come along and we wonder how we lasted so long without them. People who leave and we wonder how we are ever going to survive. People who make us whole. People who make us laugh and who make us happy and who make us who we are. People like that.

   The world can be a lonely place. It can be hard to get through a situation without a helping friend or someone there to make you laugh. You know, the kids who are so effortlessly hilarious that you just LOVE to be around or talk to them because you know by just having a single conversation with them your entire mood will be turned around. Like I truly believe that everyone needs a Joey Miller in their life. I love funny people. I mean, who doesn't? But honestly. The world needs to be full of Will Ferrel's and Fat Amy's. The world needs to be full of laughter and goofy smiles because those are the people who make life fun. Funny people are the best people. So here's to the funny kids.

    We all need a sweetheart. Like a genuine and honest kind hearted person. You know those kids who go out of their way to be super nice to everyone? Like who find you in the hallway just to compliment on your outfit or who ask you how you're doing because they care? They are nice to everyone and not in the fake kind of way.. but in the way that makes you feel good about yourself. They make the world a better place by just existing. They are the ones who are going to make a difference and who will change a life. So here's to the sweethearts.

   Smart people. They are the ones who seem to have an answer to everything (cough, cough, Devan Webb;)) They are always trying to fix the situation because they care that much. And you know you can always go to them for a straight up kind of answer. These people see the world in a different light and they are the ones who are going places. They are so smart and they are so wise and it's almost annoying that they seem to have it all figured out. So here's to the ones with all the wisdom.

We all need a rock. We all need that one person to catch us each time we fall. (In my case.. I have a GWAF, but still.) It's such a reassuring feeling to know that we have someone to count on. Like when you have a huge fight with your parents and you just need somebody to listen. Or when you see a cute boy at the mall and you get too nervous to give him your number so you make your BFF do it for you. Or when you get your heart ripped in two and they are the ones to tell you that he's a total idiot and you are too hot for him to begin with. We need besties because they make us feel good about ourselves even when its really hard. They laugh with you and they cry with you and they are by your side in walmart when you run around acting like you have turret's and still can stand to be seen with you in public. So here's to the best friends who are our rocks.

Where's the single mamas at? The ones who are brave enough to do it all alone. They comb your hair and they help you pick out your clothes and they drive you around and they are ALWAYS there when you look back. They do it all alone and they go through more than we can ever imagine. They hold your hand through it all and they don't get half the credit nor the reorganization that they deserve. So if you are being raised by a single mom: Give her a break. She is doing the best she can and she loves you. Even when it doesn't feel like it. So here's the single moms.

And we can't forget the little sisters who would do anything just to be like you. The ones who try on your clothes and lie about it afterwards. They use your makeup and they bug you and they piss you off on a daily but you couldn't picture your life without them. They are beautiful and they are so innocent and they love you more than anything. So here's the pretty baby sisters.


 We all have something to offer. Each and every one of us. The boy on that football field enriches the world by his ability to score the winning touchdown. That tall girl is a heck of a basketball player. The kid who scores 98% on all of their math tests could become the next Einstein. The boy who is a genius on the guitar and serenades just about everyone with his singing voice (HI RYAN PLANTE) could be the next JB. EVERYONE has something to offer the world and has the ability to make it into the better place everyone dreams about. Dare to be yourself, you guys. You are important and you are going to do great things. All of you.


So here's to you. Where ever you are. Whatever you are doing. And where ever you want to go and whoever you want to be. The world wouldn't be the same without you. So take the chances and be YOU and embrace the person that you are! Give every single person who enlightens your life a giant hug and tell them you love them. Count all your blessings and don't take anything for granted. Here's to you.  


xoxoxo,
Bshawty.

 

HAHAHA sorry I had to add that last one.

You could be happy.

What is one thing that us as human beings desire the most? The thing that everyone searches for and that everyone stresses over the fact that it seems so hard? Can you guess this one?


If you guessed Happiness... Ding Ding Ding. You're indeed correct!

We all want to be happy. I'm talking the true and honest feeling that is happiness. From the time we wake up in the morning until we go back to sleep at night we are always trying to find something, anything, to make us feel good. It's the thing we want the most and that can't be denied. We search for happiness in materialistic items, in others, in money, in the way we look, and plenty of other things that at the end of the day, will never satisfy our desire. Too often, we forget to find happiness inside the place where it's located all along: Within ourselves.

 What is happiness?

Maybe happiness is doing what we love to do. Regardless of what others say. Maybe happiness is spending time with those who make us a better person by just loving us. Maybe happiness is driving around on a Sunday evening with your best friend blasting old rock songs and singing LOUD because you don't have a care in the world. Maybe happiness is holding hands with someone you really care about. Maybe happiness is having a sleepover with your baby sis. Or seeing her light up when you ask to her to go see a movie or to accompany you to the mall. Maybe happiness is the breath before the first kiss, or the days spent all alone with a good book. Maybe happiness isn't so out of reach after all.

Life changes like the weather, thats for sure.
Every day has something in store. It could even be our last. So isn't it kind of amazing that you are here? You are breathing? There's a heart within you that is beating. No matter how broken it might feel. You have a mouth that was meant to smile and vocal cords that were made to laugh. You have a life that was made to be lived. Look at yourself. Go look in the mirror and LOOK at yourself. Look at how beautiful you are. Take a deep breath and just know that even if sometimes it feels as if the world will never spin your way, it will. And once you stop searching for the thing or person that is going to turn you into a happier person.. Take a look at yourself and realize that YOU are that person to turn your life around. Unhappy about something? CHANGE IT. You have control over the way you feel and the way you live your life.

Sometimes the bad things out weigh the good. When something bad happens in our lives, we are quick to assume that things will stay awful forever. We tend to dwell in the negativity and sometimes, sadness can be so darkening, It's hard to believe that we will ever be able to see the light again. It's so easy to feel down and give up, and we often become too lazy to fight through trials because we don't believe in ourselves. But realize something, boys and girls: Happiness is a choice. It ultimately is. We choose the way we deal with things and You choose the attitudes and points of view you hold and the way you perceive the world. And you want to know somethin'? This world has lost its magic. It really has. So don't let it beat the magic out of you because it no longer has any itself.

I wish I could tell you how to be happy.. but I know it doesn't help at all. I can go on and on about all of the things that makes life beautiful but if you are anything like me you will think that I'm spitting useless BS because no one understands the way you feel. Being sad is sad. I don't want to convince anyone that you should snap out of it and ignore your bad problems and replace them with some good stuff to help you ignore it. Because you shouldn't ignore it. Life is about feeling. It's about going through a Storm and coming out with a rainbow. It's about falling down and getting back up. It's about losing yourself just to find it again. Life is life. It's difficult and it doesn't make any sense but that's what is so interesting. I believe that the meaning of life is to feel. It's to feel love and to feel sadness and feel faith and hope but also sorrow and emptiness but then to feel content and whole.

One day, everything is going to make perfect sense. All I know is that everyone and everything has a purpose. YOU have purpose. Even if it's hard and even if you feel as no one gives a damn, someone DOES. Every heartache and every tear and every bruised knee and every disappointment. It all makes us who we are. And at the end of the day, that's all we really have anyway. So even if you don't know it yet, remember that every cloud has a silver lining (GUESS THAT COUNTRY SONG.) And you make be shaking your head and thinking that things will never get better, but down the road you are going to realize that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. So even if today isn't beautiful, nor tomorrow, give it time. One day it's all going to make sense and you are going to be happy. I can promise you that.

Stay strong. Don't you dare give up and keep your head above water because you are worth it all. The world is a beautiful place full of evil people who would love nothing more than to see you give up. Don't. You are loved. You are important. And you have purpose.

And with that being said, I hope everyone reading has a fantastic week. Much love to you all! I can't tell you enough how much I adore everyone who takes the time out of their day to give my blog a read.

You could be happy, readers. I promise. Give it a try. You could be amazed with the outcome you receive.


xoxox, Always,

Bshawty.

Let me leave this with you....

"Even if you didn’t know what I was talking about or know someone who has gone through it, you made me not feel alone. Because I know there are people who say all these things don’t happen. And there are people who forget what it’s like to be 16 when they turn 17. I know these will all be stories someday. And our pictures will become old photographs. We’ll all become somebody’s mom or dad. But right now these moments are not stories. This is happening, I am here and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you’re not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you’re listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. 
And in this moment I swear, we are infinite.”



Have a happy weekend readers. Make it worth remembering. And try and see "Perks Of Being A Wallflower" while you can. ♥ Much love.

xoxoxo,
Bshawty.

Daughter to father.

So my dad is getting married this weekend.
I am really excited and super happy for my dad, because he's marrying the love of his life and it's going to be really exciting to move in all together as a big family. We all bought a house in town and it's the cutest dang thing to ever happen to me! So I'm really stoked about that too.

But today, I want to talk about the amazing relationship I have with my dad.

It's pretty safe to say that I'm a daddys girl and have been since the day I was born. We have always been super close and I'm so thankful for the bond I have with that guy. When I was a little girl, the only person I wanted to be around was him. He would take me to plays and take me to work with him and let me ride up in the front seat (Which was pretty stupid of him considering the fact that I was a toddler and he was a police officer....) and he'd tell me ridiculous stories that he made up. Like this one that I remember to this very day. When I was three years old, he told me that one day he was in the backyard and an alien came down from space and told him he would grant him one wish, and that he wished for a baby girl. So the next day, he got a baby girl. So basically my dad told me that I came from an alien. And I believed him until I was like five. So nice going dad, I'm from space. Awesome.

Oh, he also told me he wrote the song "I'm Proud To Be An American."

If you know my dad, you know how great of a father he really is and how hard he tries to be the best he can be for his kids. He is by far the most understanding and has the biggest heart out of anyone I know in the whole world. I can go to him with any problem and he will give me some super long cheesy lesson that will without fail make me smile and feel better within minutes. If I need a pick me up from a crappy day, all I have to do is give my dad a call and he will make me laugh by just being himself. He's the biggest dork you will ever meet and at times he drives me crazy.. but I wouldn't have him any other way.

Regaurdless of how bratty or onry I am towards my dad, he never gives up on me and he's always has been my number one fan. He is ALWAYS there for me and I know I can count on him for absaloutely anything in the world. He is truly one of my favorite people and best friends.

I am so extremely greatful for our relationship and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I am seriously lucky to have ended up with the dad I have because the importance of a father figure in a childs life is crucial. I honestly would not be the person I am today without him. He is everything I want to be and one of my greatest heros. I remember when I was young ALL I wanted was to be around my dad and hang out with him... and even though I'm older and I found new boys to hang out with and I'm busy with my friends, there still isn't a single person I would choose over him. He is the best dad in the world, and I wouldn't want to have it any other way. He is my best friend. He really and truly is.

When my parents serperated, one of the hardest things for me was not being able to see him everyday. It took a toll on our relationship but I can honestly say that my bond with him is strong and nothing can ever break the love I have for him. He is one of the greatest people you will ever meet and by far the most caring and loving dad there has ever been. I don't even have the words to describe what he means to me.

This weekend, things are going to change. And I believe they will be for the better. I finally get to see my dad be happy after all these years and I can't wait to see his face when Dionna walks down the aisle. This is going to be an extremely special and amazing day for my family and I am giddy!


All I know is, Dad, I will always be your little girl. No matter how old I get or where I end up in life, you will always be my number one guy and you will always be where my heart is. You don't have to be scared to let me go because you have raised a very strong person and I owe it all to you. I can only strive to be half the person you are and I hope you always know that growing up will never change the fact that you are my daddy and I will forever be your baby. I love you so much dad. Thank you for being my biggest supporter, friend, and dad. I love you I love you I love you.  

  

To the ones with broken hearts and crooked smiles.

I just want to dedicate this post to anyone who is dealing with a broken heart. So if you are happy and in love, (SHANTEL AND DESHON) please exit this post and go on being happy and cute and in love.
But if you are hurting and sad and lost, please do not click away. This one is for you.


Hello. My name is BraKell but people close to me call me Bshawty. I've never had a boyfriend but I've had a heartbreak. And oh, does it ache. I just want to let anyone know who is going through this situation right now, that I know today you won't feel better. Nor tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, or even a month or a year from now. But it does get better and it does heal. Eventually, you are going to realize that to have a "happy ending" you don't need a significant other. You can have one all on your own. You can start over and you can pick yourself up along with the broken pieces that seem broken forever. You can free yourself from the pain and the discouragement and you can prepare yourself for something better in the future. The happy ending you're searching for is all up to you, my friend. It took me over a year to get back up, but if I can do it well you can too.


All good things have to come to an end sooner or later. Sometimes, they end sooner then originally planned. Being the one who is left means you are usually the one stuck remembering all the things you had with this other person and all of the things that made loving them so easy. The hurt of missing someone who doesn't miss you is the thing that can confuse you the most. It's like your head is spinning one way and the world is spinning the other. Reflecting on all of the times you shared and all of the moments where they made you feel truly wanted and happy and content with yourself make it all just as worse. Your trapped between remembering and forgetting and so many questions dance throughout your head. Like what went wrong, and how did this happen?

It isn't fair. It really is not fair that one person can be drowning in memories and heartache while another is forgetting and not having a care in the world. It is so frustrating to be sitting at home missing them and thinking about them while they are out with other people and having the time of their life. Not even giving you a second thought. You begin to question your self worth and the way you feel about yourself because they make you feel like you aren't good enough for them. And you start to lose yourself to the sadness and the hurt that they cause you because no matter of how many efforts and how many tries, it never makes any difference.

No matter how much they hurt, use, lie, and break you.. You don't give up the hope that one day they will start to feel the same way about you again. You pray for the day that your phone will viberate and there will be a text message saying "I'm sorry and I love you." or something else to make you smile and everything will go back to the way it was before, and you will be okay again. But this edge of hope just leads to disappointment and it will just make it all x10 worse. Especially, when the only time your phone does vibrate from a text they send to you is just because they are lonely and need a "booty call." Please do not provide. It adds so much sting and pain to the entire situation and it breaks the heart even more. You will never get over a person if you continue to hook up and talk to them. Cutting off all ties is a great way to let your heart heal.

It's all so hard. Trying to deal with being treated badly by the person you think the world of is just an all around sad thing. But you can't let it stop you from loving again. In this life people are going to hurt you and that's the honest truth. Someone is going to take all that you are and rip it right in half.. and they won't even stay to watch where the pieces land. But you know what? Somewhere along the lines of your fall to the bottom, you need to realize the beauty of falling a part. When you fall apart, you are given the opportunity to fall back together. To become a stronger and a smarter person.

Shame on the person who broke your heart. You have every right to be upset and disappointed in them. But don't you ever hate them. They gave you an amazing lesson in love and what it should be and what it should not. Love shouldn't be a chase of something that is gone. Love should not be giving into them for their own personal pleasure. Love should not be changing who you are to get them to like you. Love should be happy and love should be worth it and love should make you into a better you. And the next time a person comes along willing to give you the world, don't hold back because you think they will hurt you like the person before. Take the chances because that is what true love is all about. You are going to love again, and it will be great. It will be what you've been waiting for all along.

So wipe your tears and take a deep breath. Your heart won't be broken forever. I promise. The feeling of relief when you get the closure of moving on is incredible. You will be happier than you have ever been. Take your time and relax. It won't be like this forever.
"In the end, everything will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

Don't give up on love and more importantly don't give up on yourself. There is plenty in store for you.


Xoxoxo,
Bshawty.

Oh. heres a shout out to brock. kara. and maitlyn. You're welcome.
ps brock now you can't tell anyone my "secret."

Stay together for the kids.

It's hard to wake up
When the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted
It's so pathetic
It makes no sense at all
I'm ripe with things to say
The words rot and fall away
What stupid poem could fix this home
I'd read it every day

So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you're dead and gone
Will you remember this night
Twenty years now lost
It's not right

Their anger hurts my ears
Been running strong for seven years
Rather than fix the problems
They never solve them
It makes no sense at all
I see them everyday
We get along, so why can't they?
If this is what he wants
And this is what she wants
Then why is there so much pain?

So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you're dead and gone
Will you remember this night
Twenty years now lost
It's not right

So here's your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you're dead and gone
Will you remember this night
Twenty years now lost
It's not right
It's not right
It's not right
It's not right



Stay together for the kids- Blink 182.

This song gets me every single time. I honestly think that Blink 182 read my mind while writing this song.

In case you couldn't tell, this song is about divorce.
And if anyone can tell you about divorce, it's B to the shawty.

This is kind of difficult for me to write but I decided to write it anyway just because I know most of us have gone through this or are going through it, and if you are one of the very lucky ones who haven't, I can't even begin to tell you how jealous I am.


When I was born, my parents weren't married. They were young and weren't exactly ready to be parents. Shortly after, my brother was born. I can't really remember a lot about that because I was so little, but I always wondered why my cousins parents lived together and mine did not.

When I turned six years old, my parents finally got married. I remember turning to my mom at the wedding and saying, "This is the best day of my life." and I meant every word. And to this day, I don't have any other day that could ever compare to the day I watched my broken family come together. At last, I felt like I had a family. The one thing I wanted more than anything was right in front of me and I was the happiest little six year old in the whole world. 

The beginning was amazing. We bought a house all together and my mom got pregnant with my sister. We had a puppy and a big backyard and we played card games and went to California and watched movies as a family and had fireworks on the fourth of July. All as a family.

Little did I know, my fairytale was about to fall apart. Things were not well in my house. My parents fought constantly. I used to grab pillows and cover my ears and cry while they yelled at each other. I would always sing "Families Can Be Together Forever" extra loud so they would hear and they would remember what I cherished so much: My family. I truly believed that that song would heal everything and now it's really hard to listen to without crying, because in the end it didn't fix anything at all.

When I turned eight, my dad finally left, and I changed. I remember at recess I would go in the bathroom and cry and cry and cry until my eyes were so swollen I could hardly see out of them. I was only eight years old I didn't comprehend anything that was going on. It didn't make any sense to me. I was so sad and I hated everything. I was so mad at my dad for leaving I could hardly stand to be around him. And I was so mad at my mom for letting him go I just stayed in my room and avoided her at all cost. It was a nightmare. The house was just as he left it and I didn't understand how I had just had it all, and now I had nothing.


You know what, sometimes I'm still that eight year old little girl. I never got over my parents divorce. I think my life would be so much easier if I had them both to come home to. I think I would be so much happier and trusting and content and whole, if I had them both to kiss me goodnight. But I don't have that. I still don't feel like I have a real family and it sucks. It really, and honestly sucks.


Everything about it sucks. Going back and fourth is the worst. Being caught in the middle is the worst. Hearing them still fight is the worst. Knowing things I shouldn't is the worst. Splitting the Holidays is the worst. Choosing sides is the worst. It is all the worst. I don't even know how else to explain it but hard and annoying and sad. It's all so damn sad.
I personally don't think divorce solves anything. I know for a fact that when I say "I do" it will be the only time I will ever say it. I will never give up my marriage, especially if I have kids. I saw first hand how much it tears people apart. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and to this day, I am still dealing with it and trying to accept the fact that my family, as it was in the beginning, is broken. Everything feels so broken sometimes.

But out of all the things I have learned for going through this, is that eventually, you have to let go. You can't hold on the family pictures or the cards from your dad to your mom or the memories or anything else. You can't let it hold you back and you can't be resentful towards something that is gone. You have to let go.

And so do I. I have to learn how to let go, too.


I have wonderful step parents. My step dad is one of the greatest people in the world, he does so much for my mom and my family I can't even believe how much he has given up just to provide and be there for us. My step mom is great too. Actually, she isn't exactly my step mom yet but I'm really excited for her to be. When we are all together, I feel like a family and its one of the greatest feelings ever. I love her to death, I really and honestly do.

My parents, I can't tell you how bad I want for them just to be happy. If I can have one thing out of this life: It would be just for that. To see them honestly and truly happy. That is all I want and the day that they are happy, is the day that I will be happy.

My brother. He is my hero. We have been through so much together and he is so strong and amazing. He is the sweetest and humblest kid out there. I can't even begin to tell you how proud he makes me. I love him with all of my heart and he really is my best friend in the whole world. Thank you for always sticking by my side and being there for me, Mason. I love you to death.

Divorce is just an all around depressing thing. But if I can tell you anything, it would to be to let go. Like I said before. It never gets easier and it will always be stressful and obviously you are always going to wish your parents were together, you can't let yourself be trapped in the land of what used to be. It is a very empty and hallow place, my friend. Take it from someone who is trying her very best to move out. 

This is so personal, y'all probably think I'm depressed and just throwing a huge pity party for myself hahah. But I really hope that if you understand what I'm saying, that you understand the fact that you aren't your parents. You don't have to make their same mistakes and you need to take this experience and learn from it. Learn from the trails and learn from the hardships that come into you life because whether you like it or not, sh*t happens that we all have to accept. Accept it, deal with it, move on, and be happy. That's all anyone wants right? is to be happy? Right. And you want to know something, readers? We are all in this together (as high school musical as that sounds..) but it's true. I want nothing more than to help people see the brighter side of things. It's almost like if I can fix someone else, maybe I can fix myself as well. And that's what Bshawty needs, some fixing. 

I'm really excited for my dad to get married. So if you are stalking my blog dad, don't think I'm not. You are my best friend and I love you so much. 

And to my beautiful mother who doesn't understand just how beautiful she really is, you are just as important to me. And one day everything will fall into place. 


Have a goodnight readers. Tomorrow's Friday, cheers!

xoxox, 
Bshawty.