But if you are hurting and sad and lost, please do not click away. This one is for you.
Hello. My name is BraKell but people close to me call me Bshawty. I've never had a boyfriend but I've had a heartbreak. And oh, does it ache. I just want to let anyone know who is going through this situation right now, that I know today you won't feel better. Nor tomorrow, or the next day, or next week, or even a month or a year from now. But it does get better and it does heal. Eventually, you are going to realize that to have a "happy ending" you don't need a significant other. You can have one all on your own. You can start over and you can pick yourself up along with the broken pieces that seem broken forever. You can free yourself from the pain and the discouragement and you can prepare yourself for something better in the future. The happy ending you're searching for is all up to you, my friend. It took me over a year to get back up, but if I can do it well you can too.
All good things have to come to an end sooner or later. Sometimes, they end sooner then originally planned. Being the one who is left means you are usually the one stuck remembering all the things you had with this other person and all of the things that made loving them so easy. The hurt of missing someone who doesn't miss you is the thing that can confuse you the most. It's like your head is spinning one way and the world is spinning the other. Reflecting on all of the times you shared and all of the moments where they made you feel truly wanted and happy and content with yourself make it all just as worse. Your trapped between remembering and forgetting and so many questions dance throughout your head. Like what went wrong, and how did this happen?
It isn't fair. It really is not fair that one person can be drowning in memories and heartache while another is forgetting and not having a care in the world. It is so frustrating to be sitting at home missing them and thinking about them while they are out with other people and having the time of their life. Not even giving you a second thought. You begin to question your self worth and the way you feel about yourself because they make you feel like you aren't good enough for them. And you start to lose yourself to the sadness and the hurt that they cause you because no matter of how many efforts and how many tries, it never makes any difference.
No matter how much they hurt, use, lie, and break you.. You don't give up the hope that one day they will start to feel the same way about you again. You pray for the day that your phone will viberate and there will be a text message saying "I'm sorry and I love you." or something else to make you smile and everything will go back to the way it was before, and you will be okay again. But this edge of hope just leads to disappointment and it will just make it all x10 worse. Especially, when the only time your phone does vibrate from a text they send to you is just because they are lonely and need a "booty call." Please do not provide. It adds so much sting and pain to the entire situation and it breaks the heart even more. You will never get over a person if you continue to hook up and talk to them. Cutting off all ties is a great way to let your heart heal.
It's all so hard. Trying to deal with being treated badly by the person you think the world of is just an all around sad thing. But you can't let it stop you from loving again. In this life people are going to hurt you and that's the honest truth. Someone is going to take all that you are and rip it right in half.. and they won't even stay to watch where the pieces land. But you know what? Somewhere along the lines of your fall to the bottom, you need to realize the beauty of falling a part. When you fall apart, you are given the opportunity to fall back together. To become a stronger and a smarter person.
Shame on the person who broke your heart. You have
So wipe your tears and take a deep breath. Your heart won't be broken forever. I promise. The feeling of relief when you get the closure of moving on is incredible. You will be happier than you have ever been. Take your time and relax. It won't be like this forever.
"In the end, everything will be okay. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
Don't give up on love and more importantly don't give up on yourself. There is plenty in store for you.
Xoxoxo,
Bshawty.
Oh. heres a shout out to brock. kara. and maitlyn. You're welcome.
ps brock now you can't tell anyone my "secret."
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